WORD OF THE DAY: Zoopery

Zoopery: (n) The performing of experiments on animals with emphasis on ‘lower animals’

In a sentence:

Restaurant manager: Come and watch this.

Chef: What am I looking at?

Restaurant manager: I have sent our nervous waiter to serve table three, but I have hooked his nipples up to a battery, so when I press this button it gives him an electric shock.

Chef: Why are you torturing him?

Restaurant manager: I am not, this is zoopery. He was nervous and the plates would rattle when he served people. I am experimenting to see whether he can overcome his fear and trembling, by getting him used to sudden shocks. I believe it will focus his mind. Watch, I will press the button.

Chef: Steward! Get a mop and some paper towels. Reservations manager, go and refund the people on table three their money. I will call an ambulance. Sir, can I suggest you keep your zoopery to yourself.