WORD OF THE DAY: Wampum

Wampum: (n) traditional, sacred shell beads of Eastern Woodlands tribes that were used as currency with Europeans.

In a sentence:

Receptionist: Sir, I am afraid I cannot accept this as payment for a fortnight’s stay in the presidential suite.

Guest: What is wrong with my wampums?

Receptionist: I have no idea what is wrong with your wampums, but what I do know is that you can’t settle a US $30,000 bill with a handful of shells.

Guest: But I only have wampums, I don’t carry cash.

Receptionist: Then I will have to call the police.

Guest: Do they accept bribes?

Receptionist: I’m not sure, but they don’t accept shells.

Guest: This is my wife’s fault. I said, “Let’s take travellers cheques so I won’t have to carry all my wampums in my pocket”, but she said “no, most places don’t take them, clean your wampums and bring them instead”. And I can tell you now, it's not the first time my wampums have got me in trouble.